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Written by Create13 Sideshow Bob sipped a glass of wine and leaned back on his chair. He sat in an old dusty room, with floorboards sticking out everwhere. Gil walked into the room... "Hia Bob! How was your day?" He asked cheerfully. "Oh, you know... the same. I stalked Bart Simpson for a bit... then I put laxatives in his lunch when he wasn't looking. It'll all build up to the time when I finally kill him..." "Well that's great! Guess what? I got a job as a doctor! Imagine that! Dr Hibbert is away on vacation, so you know... they put me in charge! Heh heh..." You see, Sideshow Bob escaped from prison, and bribed Gil to let him stay in his house. That's right, Gil actually has a house. He won it 4 years ago on a crummy gameshow. "Well, I'm off to bed..." Gil said, yawning. "Yes, goodnight. Gil layed down on the floor and dozed off to sleep. "I wonder if he's every thought of actually BUYING a bed?" Sideshow Bob asked himself. *** The next day at the hospital, Gil walked into a room in his doctor uniform. Lisa sat on the bench looking at him. "Huh? You're not Dr Hibbert..." She pointed out. "Uh, yeah. Dr Hibbert is on vacation, little girl. So you can call me Dr Gil!" "Okay, uh, sure..." "Now what seems to be the trouble with you? Cold? Flew? Sniffles?" "Those all mean the SAME THING..." "Yeah, well... just answer the question." "I just have a pounding headache, and no matter what I do, it won't go away!" Gil thought for a moment and picked up a small box of tablets. He pulled one out and gave it to Lisa... "What's this?" She asked. "It's the latest craze! Headache pills!" She swallowed it and then clutched her stomach. "I don't think they were headache pills..." She spat out. Gil read the label on the box. 'STRONG AS HELL LAXATIVE PILLS' it read. "Aww... geeze... uh, yeah, sorry about that." He apoligized. Lisa ran out of the room clutching her stomach, and Gil sat down on the bench. "Aw, I fail at every job I get! Shoe salesman, car salesman, computer salesman, doorbell salesman, Springfield Shopper, cleaner, robot, lawyer, farmer, crossdresser... I suck at everything." Dr Hibbert walked into the room, wearing a haiwian shirt. "I'm back from my vacation! A heh heh heh heh. You're fired, Gil." He chuckled. "Aww... darnit." *** Gil dragged his feet into his house and saw Sideshow Bob stabbing his Bart Simpson voodoo doll. "Well, I'm jobless once again..." He said sadly. "Oh well. Look at me. I've NEVER had a job. You don't see ME worrying." "You know, Bob, I'm pretty sure I'm a failure in life. The only thing left to do is... commit suicide." "Good for you. Send me a card when you get to Heaven." |
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