"There's nothing wrong with a father kissing his son... I think. Now go on, boy, and pay attention, because if you do, one day you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations. You may outsmart someone." (7G02)


"Dammit, I'm no supervising technician. I'm a technical supervisor. It's too late to teach this old dog new tricks." (7G03)


"You're (god) everywhere. You're omnivorous." (7G04)


"A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center." (7G07)


"Two-hundred-thirty-nine pounds?! I'm a blimp! Why are all the good things so tasty?" (7G10)


"See these? American donuts. Glazed, powdered, and raspberry-filled. Now, how's that for freedom of choice?" (7G13)


"Listen, you big, stupid space-creature. Nobody, but nobody, eats the Simpsons!" (7F04)


"...And, Lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is, except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. (prayer)"(7F07)


"I want to share something with you - the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.'(used in Simpsons merchandise)" (7f11)


"Holy moly! The bastard's rich! (to half-brother Herb)" (7F16)


"Oooh... maca-ma-damia nuts." (7F14)


"I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons." (7F24)


"I don't care if Ned Flanders is the nicest guy in the world. He's a jerk - end of story." (7F23)


"Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right button." (8F04)


"I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats." (8F17)


"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." (8F19)


"If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers." (8F24)


"(talking about great Chief Justices of the Supreme Court)...John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burger... mmm... burger..." (9F03)


"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child (bart), but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day." (9F08)


"Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn." (9F13)


"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electric fooling machine." (9F170


"Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time." (1F02)


"Mmm... 64 slices of American cheese (then 65, and 66, until 100...)" (1F01)


"Aw, Dad (Grampa Simpson), you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless." (1f09)


"I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are." (1F12)


"Oh, everything's cruel (to Stampy the Elephant) according to you. Keeping him chained up in the backyard is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel. Yelling in his ears is cruel. Everything is cruel. So excuse me if I'm cruel." (1F15)


"You've tried hard and failed miserably, the lesson is - never try!" (1F16)


"My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh God, I'm ugly! (doens't really matter does it?)" (2F01)


"Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!" (2F03)


"You mean, I'm on my own? I've never been on my own. Oh no! On own! On own! I need help. Oh, God help me! Help me, God!" (2F06)


"Woo hoo! Good news everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want!" (2F08)


"Remember, if the building inspector comes comes by, it's not a room, it's a windowbox (which is illegal structure built by Homer)" (2F15)


"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way." (2F19)


"But let me tell you, the slim lazy Homer you knew is dead. Now I'm a big fat dynamo." (3F05)


"Are you gonna let the dogs out? Or the bees out? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth so when they bark they shoot bees at you?" (3F31)


"I've figured out the boy's (Bart for stealing) punishment. First: he's grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second: no eggnog. In fact, no nog, period. And third, absolutely no stealing for three months."(3F07)


"Maybe for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'" (3F11)


"Oh, my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!" (4F02)


"Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten." (4F06)


"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake I.D.'s" (3G01)


"To alcohol! The cause of - and the solution to - all of life's problems!" (4F15)


"You gave both dogs away? You know how I feel about giving!" (4F16)


"I don't have to be careful, I got a gun." (5F01)


"I don't know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure." (5F06)


"Singing is the lowerst form of communication." (5F24)


"Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family." (5F23)


"To Marge, and all the blissful years I spent hiding from her in this bar." (5F12)


"Will you look at those morons! I paid my taxes over a year ago!" (5F14)


"I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am" (5F09)


"This is the most exciting thing I've seen since Halley's Comet collided with the moon" (5F22)


"Bart, get down here! I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age!" (AABF07)


"Oh, baby - we got him now! There's no escape from the airport" (AABF11)


"If it doesn't have Siamese twins in a jar, it's noa fair (in book fair)." (AABF12)


"What's happening to me? There's still food, but I don't want to eat it. I've become everything I've ever hated." (AABF13)


"But Marge, I'm not like other men! That's why you buy my pants at that special store!" (AABF15)